Washington DC, USA - In a surprise move that shocked many Americans, President George W. Bush picked a new President for the Iraqi Governing Council - an American citizen.
After the unfortunate demise of some council members (at the hands of terrorists), George W. Bush and his administration have finally finished the painstaking process of choosing replacements for those that perished. Bush, ecstatic with joy, held a press conference to explain his choices this afternoon.
"There comes a time when old government must be replaced. Old government isn't always good government. Saddam Hussein... Bad man! United States... Good men! We successfully destroyed Saddam Hussein, picked a new leadership for Iraq, and were now forced to do it again. I am so pleased with my selection for their new president, I just know they'll respect him" said Bush. "He has the respect of much of the Arab world, he is a president in almost every one of their countries, and half of the Arab population probably has something to do with him already. I've picked US citizen [and Gap-Old Navy president] Paul Pressler to be the new President of Iraq" continued Bush. "I just know that he'll make a perfect President, since everybody already knows him and all. He'll likely remind them of Saddam, the way he enslaves people for low wages and all of that great stuff! I told you guys, don't misunderestimate me!"
Democratic Presidential hopeful John Kerry attacked Bush's plan saying "This isn't going to help the situation, it will only hurt it. Many in the Middle East hate us now, and this will make it worse."
Bush, replying to Senator Kerry's comments said "Kerry's a big, fat pussy."