GAY - HOMO GAY! (windycitylover) wrote in somethingweekly,

Startling New Poll Shows Kindergarteners Have Serious Lack of Ambition

      Washington DC - A startling new poll given to over sixty-five-thousand students in the United States shows an alarming lack of ambition amongst children in the kindergarten age group. The poll, a questionaire about the students' dreams and goals in life, focused mostly on career goals and was given to approximately one-hundred kindergarten students per state.

      The poll, which was created and conducted by Gallup Poll, Inc.,  was put tallied and has shown some shocking results. Almost eleven percent of students said they wished to be drug dealers when they "grew up," while a starting fifteen percent said they wished to be in jail at that point in their life. Still, more startling than that was the top career choice in this age group, "unemployed chat room administrator." A whopping fifty-six percent of students wrote down that, when they are thirty, they wish to be unempoyed chat room administrators, while only four percent want to be astronauts, and three percent want to be President.

      President George W. Bush spoke out at a press conference earlier today, saying "This disgusts me. I'm not sure why this happened, but I know where they got this idea. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the fault of the Danes. We must go to war with them immediately. They are harboring a terrorist." Anti-war protestors are already lining the streets of DC, New York and Los Angeles.

      Sociologists, from the University of Wisconsin (Madison), plan to explore this startling new trend in-depth, as well as conduct a new poll as soon as possible.

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