Rome, Italy - Lord God, Yahweh, accompanied by his son, Jesus, descended from Heaven Friday night to announce startling news.
Descending from hell with his father, Jesus visited Rome, Italy earlier Friday evening for a talk with the papacy. The topic on Jesus's mind? Catholicism. "I don't want to sound like an asshole, but it's all wrong," said The Lord. "Yeah, at first, it was okay, because it's all there was - but in this day and age - it doesn't fly."
"Thank you, my Son," said Jesus's father, Yahweh. "There was a definite misunderstanding of my son's work sixteen-hundred years ago when Constantine made semi-officially formed the Roman Catholic church. We have come here today to finally correct those mistakes."
The Pope stared at The Lord Jesus, and then motioned to a papal adviser. Intiago Torlini, an aid to the pope, tried his best to translate the Pope's mumbles, but it was all in vain, as the pope fell to the floor due to exhaustion. "I'm sorry, your Lord, but the pope is tired, as had a late night game of fooseball," said Mr. Torlini.
"All is forgiven," said Jesus.