Why Won't This Idiot Just Go Away - an editorial by Eric Forman
I have this friend, we'll call him Mike. Actually, he's not a friend, and that's why I'm writing this. I guess he probably considers us friends, because he always hangs around me and my other friends in my basement. Anyway, my point is, he never goes away. No matter how much I make fun of him, or try my best to get rid of him, he sticks around. It's almost as if someone is paying him to come around. Now, don't get me wrong: As a friend, he's a good guy, but he's so stupid. He's a guillible idiot, to be frank. Sometimes, I think it's funny to keep him around, and other people laugh at him, too. In fact, when he does stupid things, many voices laugh at him... I'm not even sure where they all come from, but boy do they laugh. But now let's get back to the point... My mom thinks he's stupid, my dad constantly insults him, and everybody just disrespects him. I really don't know why he comes around anymore, there has got to be money involved. Oh, and almost nobody calls him Mike. Why? Why does this fool get to be called "Kelso?" I get called by my last name sometimes, but I'm so much better. Oh, speaking about my last name and family... He slept with my sister! I really don't want this creep around, but at least once a week, he comes around. Actually, he used to only come around once a week for about a half hour, but now he hangs around for at least an hour every single day. Well, it's more like two half-hours. Anyway, that's my complaint.